Steven Wright – Jiggs Casey

Steven Wright – Jiggs Casey Lyrics

Artist: Steven Wright
Song: Jiggs Casey

Got on an elevator and this old guy got on with me and i was over near the buttons. i pushed #4 and i said, “where you going?” he said, “phoenix.”
So i pushed ‘phoenix’. doors opened. two tumbleweeds blew on. we stepped off. we were in downtown phoenix. and i said, “you know, you’re the kind of guy i’d really like to hang around with.”
He said, “well, i’m going out to the desert. you wanna go?” i said, “sure.” so we hopped in his car and started driving out to the desert. he told me he spent most of his life working on a research project for the government trying to find out who financed the pyramids
Worked on it 30 years and they paid him an incredible amount of money. he told them he was pretty sure… it was a guy named eddie

I said, “yeah?” he said, “you’re 62 bank payments behind. we found out today from the institute you attended that they received none of the $17,000 we loaned you. we’d really like to know what you did with it.”
I said, “well, mr. haines, i’m not gonna lie to you. i gave the money to my friend jiggs casey and he built a nuclear weapon with it. and i’d really appreciate it if you wouldn’t call me anymore.”
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I have several hobbies which i enjoy to the fullest. i have a large seashell collection, which i keep scattered on the beaches all over the world. maybe you’ve seen it

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I also collect rare photographs. i have two very rare photographs. one is a picture of houdini locking his keys in his car. the other one is a rare photograph of norman rockwell beating up a child
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I was in the museum of natural history in new york. accidentally walked into the ladies’ room. said, “sorry, i thought this was an exhibit.”

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They get all upset. women. can’t live with ’em, can’t shoot ’em
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Steven Wright Lyrics – Jiggs Casey

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Release Year: 1985