Bigmouth – X-Mass Rap

Bigmouth – X-Mass Rap Lyrics

Artist: Bigmouth
Song: X-Mass Rap

Wow, a set of drums
Dig this!
‘Twas the night before Christmas
We were rockin’ the house

But instead of stuffin’ stockings
I went out and about
With a string of blinking lights
On my steering wheel

I went screamin’ to the mall
To see what was the deal
The mall was really crawling
Like a dog full of fleas

With a punk in every store
Pushin’ Xmas trees
They had plastic pines
That would blow your mind

But the real live kind
Was impossible to find
Well, there were babies cryin’
On Santa’s lap

And parents yelling:
“Shut your trap!”
I heard Muzak
Mutilating Christmas songs

So instead I started rappin’
And clappin’ along
I said yo ho
Yo ho ho

Xmas is here
Only once a year
But the hustle and the bustle
Make the fun disappear

I saw a mile-long line
At the bank machine
People b#tchin’ and a-moanin’
And gettin’ real mean

And they’re pilin’ up their boxes
And their shopping bags
With fruitcakes and neckties
And other big drags

I saw toys that would break
And shirts that would shrink
And the suckers bought it all
And took the kitchen sink

They use their layaway-away
To convince you to stay
So you’ll be payin’ all their bills
Until your dyin’ day

Saying yo ho
Yo ho ho
Xmas is here
Only once a year

But the hustle and the bustle
Make the fun disappear
What you give
What you gets

Dinner with relatives you never met
They’re gonna turn my brains
To candy canes
One more jingle bell, I’ll go insane

I was gettin’ disillusioned
On my way to the bar
When a red blur flew
Right over my car

It looked like a fat guy
In a sleigh
And you could hear his rap
From miles away

Saying yo ho
Yo ho ho
Merry Christmas to all
And to all a good night

Ho ho ho
Oh, no
Not another itchy sweater
Why didn’t someone get me G.I. Joe?

Yo ho
Yo ho ho
Yo ho
No one ever gives me money

Yo ho
Yo ho ho
Yo ho
Oh, man, I wanted a nuclear weapon

Yo ho
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Bigmouth Lyrics – X-Mass Rap

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From the album:
The Queen Is Dead
Release Year: 1986