Allan Sherman – Ringo Lyrics
Artist: Allan Sherman
Song: Ringo
He sat me down in the desert sand
With a comb and scissors in his hand
As he cut my hair, he said, “I’m the best!
The Fastest Barber in the West!”
I asked him where he’d gone to school
He said, “I studied in Liverpool..
I met four kids called The Beatles there;
I’d give my life just to cut the hair of Ringo
I met him next in the old town square
A voice was calling numbers there
The crowd was tense, listening hard
Each one had some beans and a card
The voice called “5,” then “14”
They covered each number with a lima bean
Five beans in a row means a bullet in the head
‘Cause way out west you could wind up dead playin’ Bingo
Later that day about high noon
I saw him walk into the town saloon
With a dance hall girl they called Coquette
Looked to me like he was getting Stinko
He was laughing and having so much fun
You’d have though he was watching an old rerun of Bilko
And he went to the jukebox, feelin’ jolly
Put on a record of Hello, Dolly! by Satchmo
He said, ” I look soft, but underneath
I’m so tough that I brush my teeth with Brillo.”
Well, I looked in his glass to see what he had
What booze could drive a man so mad?
But there was no booze in his glass at all!
Just ice cream, the kind they call Pistachio
Pistachio must be dynamite
‘Cause he left for Liverpool that night
For destiny had called him there
And he had to cut that Ringo’s hair
But something went wrong, as I reckon you know
If you saw the news not long ago
‘Cause that barber had become a pistachio nut
And he’d plum forgot what he’d went there to cut
And he sent this cablegram collect to me:…
“Guess who performed that tonsillectomy on Ringo?”
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Allan Sherman Lyrics – Ringo
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Release Year: 2015